You're a womanizer and a bitch.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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