I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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