worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
