We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
