He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
