I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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