So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
