He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
