A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
