but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
