My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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