Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
