the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
