if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
