yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
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