I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
