I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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