WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
This is classic penis vs brain.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
