butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
