Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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