New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
