Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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