so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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