went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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