she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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