Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes