Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.

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(401): Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars. http://tfl.nu/q4kd

Replies (29) Good night (1483) Bad night (461)
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(917): View more from New York City

I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.

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(917): I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear. http://tfl.nu/517j

Replies (9) Good night (1321) Bad night (4369)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.

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(402): I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members. http://tfl.nu/ande

Replies (19) Good night (1792) Bad night (3599)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking

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(401): I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking http://tfl.nu/uwdq

Replies (4) Good night (2083) Bad night (903)
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(847): View more from Illinois

i can recognize that vagina from a mile away

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(847): i can recognize that vagina from a mile away http://tfl.nu/64kp

Replies (15) Good night (1999) Bad night (1571)
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(949): View more from California

You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.

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(949): You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept. http://tfl.nu/3n2j

Replies (15) Good night (2941) Bad night (574)
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(845): View more from New York

I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin

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(845): I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin http://tfl.nu/w07j

Replies (22) Good night (610) Bad night (1751)
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(210): View more from Texas

Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.

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(210): Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night. http://tfl.nu/v64u

Replies (7) Good night (1200) Bad night (394)
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(727): View more from Florida

I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.

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(727): I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate. http://tfl.nu/o1ey

Replies (5) Good night (1445) Bad night (306)
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(+31): View more from The Netherlands

So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?

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(+31): So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it? http://tfl.nu/5fmg

Replies (7) Good night (1582) Bad night (346)
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(802): View more from Vermont

Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.

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(802): Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful. http://tfl.nu/lc1g

Replies (2) Good night (625) Bad night (344)
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(619): View more from California

I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix

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(619): I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix http://tfl.nu/k82p

Replies (8) Good night (417) Bad night (1102)
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(309): View more from Illinois

Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.

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(309): Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off. http://tfl.nu/ojpk

Replies (2) Good night (775) Bad night (304)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.

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(703): Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate. http://tfl.nu/y8op

Replies (1) Good night (526) Bad night (197)
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(912): View more from Georgia

We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.

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(912): We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day. http://tfl.nu/r8kt

Replies (2) Good night (377) Bad night (238)

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