4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.