he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Let's paint friendship bongs
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility