Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  anal on a first date. tsk tsk.

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  (858): anal on a first date. tsk tsk. http://tfl.nu/9mlb
  Replies (100) Good night (4849) Bad night (2327)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.

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  (214): I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina. http://tfl.nu/q4iw
  Replies (56) Good night (3795) Bad night (1833)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s

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  (631): Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s http://tfl.nu/25cx
  Replies (17) Good night (4383) Bad night (678)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.

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  (641): I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated. http://tfl.nu/i5uc
  Replies (6) Good night (971) Bad night (3397)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.

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  (662): We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety. http://tfl.nu/psgs
  Replies (14) Good night (4667) Bad night (954)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.

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  (612): My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment. http://tfl.nu/bb74
  Replies (8) Good night (4567) Bad night (1463)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America

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  (330): I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America http://tfl.nu/nfrq
  Replies (24) Good night (6913) Bad night (1157)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.

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  (763): Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always. http://tfl.nu/ugs1
  Replies (11) Good night (2285) Bad night (962)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.

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  (317): Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays. http://tfl.nu/4yhe
  Replies (9) Good night (1769) Bad night (1128)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.

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  (203): Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend. http://tfl.nu/ouub
  Replies (14) Good night (2551) Bad night (993)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.

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  (443): i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk. http://tfl.nu/ry9j
  Replies (3) Good night (1261) Bad night (500)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend

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  (865): I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend http://tfl.nu/9cvt
  Replies (1) Good night (942) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.

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  (205): Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line. http://tfl.nu/zcb1
  Replies (9) Good night (1003) Bad night (635)
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  (323): View more from California

  In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.

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  (323): In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink. http://tfl.nu/5x8b
  Replies (5) Good night (857) Bad night (420)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm

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  (630): the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm http://tfl.nu/tyw9
  Replies (3) Good night (826) Bad night (750)

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