Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
21 Sketchy Drug Deals That Are Scary AF
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk