Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(612): View more from Minnesota

These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.

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(913): View more from Kansas

They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.

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(425): View more from Washington

Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable

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(507): View more from Minnesota

I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"

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(416): View more from Toronto

If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?

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