Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.

(1-508): View more from Massachusetts

Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome

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(508): So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again. (1-508): Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years? (508): Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome http://tfl.nu/sfo6

Replies (18) Good night (2458) Bad night (702)
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(773): View more from Illinois

omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...

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(773): omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this... http://tfl.nu/ilg0

Replies (42) Good night (986) Bad night (6415)
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(516): View more from New York

I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.

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(516): I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy. http://tfl.nu/zkq5

Replies (24) Good night (2133) Bad night (4550)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

it's gonna be a great weekend

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(203): as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot (1-203): it's gonna be a great weekend http://tfl.nu/mkok

Replies (13) Good night (6287) Bad night (969)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.

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(215): so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15. http://tfl.nu/ngxx

Replies (16) Good night (695) Bad night (2197)
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(515): View more from Iowa

IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.

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(515): IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard. http://tfl.nu/ob2l

Replies (1) Good night (893) Bad night (1757)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.

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(770): Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever. http://tfl.nu/w4kd

Replies (7) Good night (2572) Bad night (1195)
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(281): View more from Texas

I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.

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(281): I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth. http://tfl.nu/cgjr

Replies (3) Good night (1326) Bad night (419)
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(917): View more from New York City

How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?

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(917): How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do? http://tfl.nu/h8p0

Replies (5) Good night (1047) Bad night (387)
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(586): View more from Michigan

Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??

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(586): Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus?? http://tfl.nu/6jql

Replies (5) Good night (1332) Bad night (495)
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(914): View more from New York

He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.

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(914): He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen. http://tfl.nu/pgtg

Replies (3) Good night (1972) Bad night (555)
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(314): View more from Missouri

shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help

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(314): shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help http://tfl.nu/q76e

Replies (6) Good night (1530) Bad night (545)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on

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(503): I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on http://tfl.nu/i6tt

Replies (4) Good night (395) Bad night (255)
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(415): View more from California

A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."

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(415): A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us." http://tfl.nu/94uv

Replies (4) Good night (596) Bad night (281)
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(305): View more from Florida

When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.

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(305): When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand. http://tfl.nu/rlmw

Replies (4) Good night (506) Bad night (233)

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