Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize