she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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