woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
