Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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