Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
