it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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