i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
