Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
