Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
