Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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