so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
