Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
