My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
