am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
