Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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