ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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