apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
