i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
