I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
