dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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