Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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