after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
where are my eyebrows?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
