Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Randomize
