Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything http://tfl.nu/8gpe
  Replies (14) Good night (4371) Bad night (839)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil. http://tfl.nu/3ein
  Replies (69) Good night (12168) Bad night (1038)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): 5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal. http://tfl.nu/ja8n
  Replies (25) Good night (3043) Bad night (714)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable. http://tfl.nu/f89d
  Replies (7) Good night (2818) Bad night (1304)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested. http://tfl.nu/cy6p
  Replies (5) Good night (1418) Bad night (804)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I feel like everything in this room is sweating

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (506): I feel like everything in this room is sweating http://tfl.nu/iaml
  Replies (2) Good night (802) Bad night (1162)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids. http://tfl.nu/e2e0
  Replies (12) Good night (2325) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ? http://tfl.nu/oaz9
  Replies (5) Good night (1279) Bad night (776)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex http://tfl.nu/eas7
  Replies (19) Good night (1781) Bad night (2100)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs. http://tfl.nu/utt1
  Replies (9) Good night (2366) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner! http://tfl.nu/v9u1
  Replies (3) Good night (706) Bad night (470)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Way to promote small business.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business (314): Way to promote small business. http://tfl.nu/n30m
  Replies (3) Good night (1495) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass. http://tfl.nu/ehtn
  Replies (8) Good night (1858) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me. http://tfl.nu/booy
  Replies (6) Good night (1057) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.

  (469): View more from Texas

  BP at your house from now on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off. (469): BP at your house from now on. http://tfl.nu/i1e8
  Replies (0) Good night (695) Bad night (299)

Randomize