Texts From Last Night

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  (302): View more from Delaware

  is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?

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  (302): is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture? http://tfl.nu/hrqs
  Replies (4) Good night (1470) Bad night (3849)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games

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  (630): Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games http://tfl.nu/dec3
  Replies (10) Good night (4330) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs

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  (516): I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs http://tfl.nu/s3ms
  Replies (19) Good night (5032) Bad night (1374)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.

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  (360): I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina. http://tfl.nu/jli8
  Replies (55) Good night (1309) Bad night (9898)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.

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  (920): He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car. http://tfl.nu/srqw
  Replies (38) Good night (11317) Bad night (1416)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?

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  (305): Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning? http://tfl.nu/gt8n
  Replies (12) Good night (3579) Bad night (1770)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.

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  (516): you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito. http://tfl.nu/qluq
  Replies (8) Good night (3321) Bad night (973)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday

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  (703): My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday http://tfl.nu/7nrp
  Replies (4) Good night (3020) Bad night (753)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony

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  (804): Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony http://tfl.nu/wi0z
  Replies (13) Good night (2869) Bad night (1247)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.

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  (859): the best sex is "duke just lost" sex. http://tfl.nu/zw67
  Replies (33) Good night (6296) Bad night (1504)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything

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  (609): I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything http://tfl.nu/1m1m
  Replies (11) Good night (2115) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!

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  (661): He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth! http://tfl.nu/q4tp
  Replies (23) Good night (2551) Bad night (1332)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I'm drinking too much free beer

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.

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  (651): I'm drinking too much free beer (508): Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible. http://tfl.nu/a7hm
  Replies (14) Good night (2484) Bad night (1182)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands

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  (619): I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands http://tfl.nu/vlc3
  Replies (4) Good night (1527) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits

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  (301): I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits http://tfl.nu/pmw9
  Replies (3) Good night (275) Bad night (568)

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