The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.