Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life. http://tfl.nu/tfvf
  Replies (35) Good night (596) Bad night (4688)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer. http://tfl.nu/s996
  Replies (22) Good night (4513) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab http://tfl.nu/z45l
  Replies (20) Good night (4274) Bad night (1416)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high. http://tfl.nu/dl85
  Replies (63) Good night (8022) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs http://tfl.nu/4ami
  Replies (26) Good night (6367) Bad night (1415)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire. http://tfl.nu/5e7s
  Replies (9) Good night (6217) Bad night (1548)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation? http://tfl.nu/p01u
  Replies (2) Good night (2423) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Semen is not good for contacts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): Semen is not good for contacts. http://tfl.nu/krg1
  Replies (10) Good night (1036) Bad night (3212)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible http://tfl.nu/pzql
  Replies (5) Good night (530) Bad night (2013)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something http://tfl.nu/61ie
  Replies (7) Good night (657) Bad night (1153)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (641): As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long... http://tfl.nu/8iqc
  Replies (4) Good night (352) Bad night (1278)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture

  (410): View more from Maryland

  dude you're not even a fucking science major

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture (410): dude you're not even a fucking science major http://tfl.nu/vino
  Replies (4) Good night (1073) Bad night (289)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person. http://tfl.nu/mw9z
  Replies (4) Good night (740) Bad night (211)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (641): Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good.. http://tfl.nu/el3i
  Replies (2) Good night (482) Bad night (154)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years. http://tfl.nu/m9m6
  Replies (12) Good night (746) Bad night (363)

Randomize