She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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