Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
honey bunches of taint.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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