chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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