I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Randomize
