She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
