His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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