Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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