Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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