At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
