Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
