you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
