You were right. It hurts to walk today.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
