actually, I'm a sock model
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
